I’ve been thinking a lot about that question. And, in fact, I even discussed it with my primary care physician during my recent annual checkup. Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, who has very impressive credentials, bolstered my argument in a recent New York Times interview and on Smerconish on CNN last Saturday.

Well respected physician

Emanuel, a health policy expert, medical ethicist and oncologist, wrote a well known article in The Atlantic in 1975 called “Why I Hope to Die at 75.” Now he’s 65; I’m 76. In the recent television and newspaper interviews, Emanuel said he hasn’t changed his mind.

What does that mean?

And that means, for him, he intends to stop accepting most medical treatment at 75. For him that includes antibiotics and vaccinations. He said this because he feels too many older Americans live too long in a deteriorating state.

Living too long can be a loss

“Doubtless, death is a loss,” he wrote. “But here is a simple truth that many of us seem to resist: living too long is also a loss. It renders many of us if not disabled then faltering and declining, a state that may not be worse than death but is nonetheless deprived . . . We are no longer remembered as vibrant and engaged but as feeble, ineffectual, even pathetic.”

My own mother

I loved my mother dearly, but for at least the last 10 years of her life, she consistently asked, “Why have I lived so long?” And while life had pleasant moments when friends and relatives would visit, her life really wasn’t particularly enjoyable. She died 13 days before her 100th birthday.

And my dad

And my father, who pledged to take his own life with pills when old age became too much, died of the effects of Alzheimer’s disease at age 95. He had purchased Dr. Jack Kervokian’s book, which outlined ways to painlessly take your own life. But, of course, by the time my father was there, his dementia was too advanced, and he would not have had access to the medication needed.

Please don’t put me “there”

But he always begged us not to let him be confined to a care home, which is just what he was for the last year and a half of his life. (It was a nice memory care unit in the assisted living where my mother lived and where she could visit him multiple times per day.) It also was quite costly.

My inheritance

Not that I felt I deserved it, but my parents left me no money. Why? Because it all went to their care in assisted living, memory care and nursing homes. My parents hadn’t started with much. But they worked hard, lived frugally and were able to travel around the globe in later years. They also had the money to pay for this last bit of care, although my mother exhausted her savings toward the end and was on Medicaid in a nursing home.

My dad’s comments

I can well remember my father’s comments about old age. Once my parents began to become more frail and could no longer travel, he asked what the point was. I always pooh-poohed that. I wanted my parents alive and around my family and me.

But it makes sense now

Now I get it.

Emanuel said he won’t end his life at 75. But he does intend to stop efforts to prolong life. He said in both interviews that society focuses too much on the short time leading to death instead of the years of deterioration.

On seeking medical help

Seeking medical help at every turn may help increase our lifespans but they don’t necessarily increase what Emanuel calls our “healthspan.” He’s right.

The 20 years after 75

A student in the UK found that British people aged 65 in 2018 had an average of 20 years left to live. But the second 10 would be filled with chronic illness or disability.

The outliers

Of course, there are outliers, who may include President Biden and former President Trump. But not all of us are like that.

And the cost

And then, of course, there’s the financial cost. I don’t think my husband and I have enough money to live into our 90s. And even if we did, I think I’d rather leave a little to offspring than take it all for a chronically ill old age.

Not sure what I’ll do

 I do intend to keep getting vaccinations. And I will take antibiotics for bacterial infections. I’m active in my community, teach part-time for the University of Phoenix and even substitute teach in local schools. So my life still has meaning. But Dr. Emanuel has given me some things to think about.