It seems absurd today that people in power risk exposure by having extramarital affairs. It’s gone on forever, I suppose, and those in power — mostly men because mostly men are in power — can’t keep it zipped around attractive co-workers or others.

Two recent books

I recently finished two recent books. One of them, “A Very Private Woman,” concerns the unsolved murder mystery surrounding Mary Meyer, who was a good friend of Jackie Kennedy and her husband’s paramour. When Jackie was away, she would be brought into the White House for a quick tryst, then taken out again. The book, well researched and written by Nina Burleigh, whose work has appeared in Time, The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune and New York Magazine, asks whether her shooting along the C&O Canal in Georgetown was related to her closeness to power or done by a mugger who was caught, then acquitted.

The other book centered around Aaron Burr’s relationship with his mistress, Mary Emmons. “The Secret Wife of Aaron Burr” by Susan Holloway Scott explores the complex, unequal relationship between Burr, his wife Theodosia and Mary, who was previously a slave in India. It delves into Mary’s life, her journey to America, her eventual role as Burr’s mistress and the two children he fathered with her.

But the stories are many

 Think about President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, and Gennifer Flowers. Then there’s Newt Gingrich, who while leading the charge against Clinton, was having an affair with an aide himself. Think about presidential contender Gary Hart and Donna Rice (though stories claim Hart took many campaign workers to bed over the years before this scandal). Think about John Edwards and Rielle Hunter, an affair that was blazing while Mrs. Edwards battled cancer. Think about Arnold Schwartzenegger who fathered a child with the family housekeeper.

And, of course, DJT. My goodness! He paid hush money to a porn star. Melania was home with a newborn when he had that tryst. And Karen McDougal has said she thought DJT would perhaps marry her. The man now in the White House revealed his sexual character in the Access Hollywood tape. All America saw it and elected him.

Then, there’s Hollywood. I guess former Gov. Schwartzenegger fits both categories! There’s Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Even Paul Newman, who was married 51 years to Joanne Woodward, yet began an affair with her while married to someone else. Johnny Cash began an affair with June Carter while still married to someone else. I’m not sure if the stars exactly fit the unequal situation often considered in sex abuse cases.

Then, of course, there is Harvey Weinstein, who actually helped start the “Me-Too” movement, though he didn’t intend to!

Women too!

We do not hear about these so much. I suppose the most famous was Mary Kay Letourneau, a teacher in the Seattle area, had two children by her former student before he was 15. She served prison time for sexual abuse, though both she and the student described every part of their relationship as consensual. They later married. She died of cancer in 2020, a year after the couple divorced.

Why does this happen?

I suppose some people are attracted to power. Male and female. I suppose some powerful people (and sometimes not so powerful) think no one will know.

I had a friend once who had a longtime affair with a married man. He’d once been her college professor. They felt they were discreet. They felt no one knew. Hahaha! My friend confided in me. I think she felt there was a chance he’d ditch the wife and marry her. No way! Now long retired, he’s still with that wife. My friend died a few years ago. She was married briefly to someone, though it didn’t last.

But people did know. A few people saw them try to discreetly hide a car, while they got into one of their vehicles together. A couple of people noticed his car at her apartment.

Is that what Burr, Kennedy thought?

Is that what JFK thought? How about his brother, Teddy? What about Marilyn Monroe, Kennedy crew? And Mrs. Burr, BTW, had brought this slave, the product of a British father and Indian mother, with her when she married Mr. Burr. She was older than her husband. Did she know? Did she care? Did Jackie? Did Hillary? Does Melania?

A former staff member of mine told the story of a previous employer who made lewd suggestions many times. Then one day she walked into his office to find his pants down. He insisted she engage in sex. She quit and didn’t tell her boyfriend. She truly thought he’d kill the guy.

Distasteful nonetheless

But using a power dynamic to gain sexual favor is sometimes illegal and always distasteful. I truly hate it when women like McDougal and my late friend engage in sex acts thinking that may lead to marriage to someone they love.

And the person engaging in a relationship under such circumstances surely knows how the partner feels. What does that make them? Lower than dirt, in my book.